Bafana Bafana, Mbulaeni Muladzi, Orlando Pirates, Phindile Mwelase, RIP, Senzo Meyiwa, South Africa, State funerals

We Don’t Respect Death Anymore

Last week South Africa suffered more than one blow. Three individuals that flew our flag high and proud in many different countries and represented us passed away. Mbulaeni Mulaudzi  was a South African middle distance runner, and the 2009 world champion in the men’s 800 metres. His first global medal was a silver at the 2000 African Championships in Athletics. Born in 1980 and sadly passed on in a car crash on the 24 October 2014 at the age of 34.

On Monday morning, 26 October 2014, South Africa woke up to the devastating news that Orlando Pirates’ goal keeper and captain, as well as Bafana Bafana’s goalkeeper and captain, Senzo Meyiwa, was shot at his girlfriend’s house and passed away on his way to the hospital the night before. He passed on at the young age of 27.

As if these deaths were not enough, we hear before the end of the day that welterweight boxer Phindilie Mwelase, passed away after being in a coma for two weeks. She left the world at the age of 31 on Monday, 26 October.

Guess it is true when they say, “Death comes in three”. RIP to our fallen soldiers. Not forgetting former Kaizer Chiefs’ striker  Valdez ‘Shaka’ Nqcobo, also has passed away at the age of 64 on Saturday, 1 November 2014.

None of these deaths raised as much controversial noise as Senzo Meyiwa’s. His dirty linen (linens to be exact) hung out for the whole world to judge. South Africa is angry, the soccer fraternity suffered a major knock losing Senzo. It was no more a Orlando Pirates loss, BUT South Africa’s and the soccer fraternity’s. Such young talent wasted like that, over a cellphone (which I struggle to believe but hey! that’s what the ‘feds’ telling us). SHOT! South Africa is losing grip of the trigger happy individuals. This is a second well-known individual making headlines because of gun violence in a year (Yes, Oscar is the other). Many of those who knew him shared stories of how he was humble and patient, great things were said about him. Which no one can take from him, except his scandal with pop singer Kelly Khumalo and wife Mandisa Mkhezi.

Black Twitter“, notorious for attacking, bullying and adding insult to injury, went on a frenzy. Every second tweet on my timeline was about the triangle relationship. There were mixed reactions, many saying “Shame Kelly for what? What about his beautiful wife Mandisa?, others calling Kelly an adulterous witch, even going to the extent of blaming her for the death. I can see where these people came from, but I still cannot understand how we can sit behind our phones and start judging these people. Many of us are guilty for the same thing, but reality is, we aren’t in the lime light, so not many can be shamed like Senzo and Kelly were past week. No one waited to see what Mandisa had to stay. The media kept fueling Sam Meyiwa’s grief putting him behind a mic and forcing him to make many contradicting statements, not allowing him to mourn. I still wonder, WHERE WERE SENZO’S UNCLES? Are they not meant to represent the family and allow them to mourn?  This one death that was made a circus of, on social media, online newspapers, and well, the media at large.

Publications such as Drum released very distasteful covers, all in the name of profits. Normal people like you and I, busy conspiring theories that either blamed Kelly or Mandisa for the death. “Christians” JUDGING and condemning Kelly and the Late Senzo, who’s body had not even turn cold. Using him as an example of what happens to those that break their wedding vows. What’s funny is, none of us know and understand the dynamics of Senzo’s relationship with Kelly or Mandisa. Today there are articles telling us that Mandisa actually WAS left for Kelly, and she accepted it. They did break up, seems like it was a matter of making it official because of the pressures that came from the Meyiwa family. But we were there attacking Kelly Khumalo. Anyway, there is a lot I have to say about this, but I won’t get into it, the bit I wrote is enough for now. Poor grieving girlfrend was not welcomed to the funeral, then was welcomed. I too would not have gone. Too many people are hurt and want to blame someone, Kelly was the perfect person. I believe her life would have been in danger had she went. Senzo’s daughter watched (not that she could comprehend) the funeral with her mother, gran and aunt. Question, isn’t there some ceremony/cleansing that lil Meyiwa needs to go through after the funeral?

Now many SOUTH AFRICANS (not I did not say black or white) are confused as to why these players received provincial “state” funerals. Who qualifies for one? As tax payers, I would be worried if no one wondered why is this. These individuals, did they not have funeral covers? Yes I understand that they are our heroes, but many heroes are still alive, are they going to get the same treatment? If this is what Senzo got for a send off, I am scared to see what the likes of Lucas Radebe were to pass away, from a violent crime like Senzo (God Forbid his happens) would receive as a send off! Will the government continue taking money that could be used for the country’s development to pay for the extraordinary funerals? Baby Jake passed away, he two represented us on the same level as these three. He put us on the map. But he was not given much attention. Is it because Tata Mandela’s death overshadowed him or is it because he did not die in a senseless manner (not shot)?

What happened to Senzo was TRAGIC and unforgivable. The bandits responsible for this need to be caught and punished (At the expense of taxpayers btw!)! But it is funny how, he is not the first high profile individual who lost his life this way. What about Lucky Dube? Or is this the first time the Government finds out that OUR BELOVED COUNTRY IS NOT RUN BY THEM BUT TRIGGER HAPPY FOOLS? Then I guess maybe that is why the Senzo Meyiwa gun law is only arising now! WELL DONE government for catching this problem and nipping it at the bud before it goes out of control hey. Frankly, SAFA can do whatever it wants with it’s money, but I really do not see the necessity of this statue… Correct me if I am wrong, Senzo is THE ONLY SOCCER PLAYER EVER TO BE SHOT? Right? So he deserve this statue (That’s going to be moulded from illegal firearms repossessed). Sh!#, I even heard that Sir Buthelezi is fuming because a bridge named after him in Kwa-Zulu Natal is to be renamed to The Senzo Meyiwa Bridge (How true is this, I do not know, so don’t shoot me!). I feel like we busy rewarding a cheater, despite his good qualities, we cannot ignore his affair. (Poor) Kelly is left to take ALL the blame and shame, when we all know it ‘takes two to tango’.

I believe things were exaggerated a bit, and for only one reason. To Save South Africa’s image after all the violent crimes making headlines continuously with high profiled individuals such as one of our ministers I believe and ol’ Oscar Pistorious. The SAPS had to, for some reason, tell us in a statement that Senzo’s case is not being treated differently because of who he is… Do YOU believe this? They also felt that they needed to tell us that they always offer a reward… Could be true yes, but hmmm. Then stories of people wanting Bheki Cele to come back filled the headlines too, why specifically to this case huh? These are just my opinions, but hey who am I? I ain’t gon get no state funeral.

What Orlando Pirates did for Meyiwa and the family is amazing and cannot go unnoticed. Retiring his Number 1 jersey is very Honorable, paying his family his full salary for three or is it six months and the beautiful uniform send off his team mates conducted (Did not watch the funeral, saw pictures though from newspapers). These are very GREAT and TASTEFUL acts/gestures. Thank you for showing the love and respect to your lost solider, friend, brother and son, he will never be replaced, but I do hope you are able to rebuilt your team as strong as it was with him on. Good luck with this task. 

RIP to these three heroes,  and specially, RIP to Senzo, I hope he is resting peacefully despite how his girlfriend was treated, how he was insulted and how his dirty linen(s) were out in the world to be judged.

Oh another thing, Gareth Cliff had the right to ask who is paying for the funeral(s), the response from “black Twitter” yes was expected, but I do not see how this became a racial thing when on the morning of the funeral I saw many tweets and retweets of people asking the same thing and expressing how they do not see why things escalated this far, and guess what, they were BLACK. The ANC account’s responses were very distasteful, unnecessary and rather uncouth.
Whoever is behind that account need to apologize to Gareth AND to the public.  This is not the ANC Mandela fought for, he preached forgive and forget. To reconcile. A rainbow nation. That account just made the situation blow out of proportion, cause then other ‘fools’ (sorry there is no other way to describe these barbaric individuals, if this was you, I am not sorry) followed suit insulting and saying Gareth is racist. VERY IDIOTIC if you ask me.

“Death is a time to come closer and mourn or celebrate the life lost”

The past week was just a circus. The other two at least had decent send offs and were not disrespected in death. Senzo though… Despite that these are the ripple effects of what he did, it does not excuse how many of us behaved and attacked him and his girlfriend.  Even the distasteful jokes about death and side chicks, forgetting that we are not immune to death. I agree with and respect  the gestures of Orlando Pirates, but believe the others were just pushing it. These are my opinions, and I am entitled to them. It doesn’t make me right or wrong. You are allowed to add your opinions, criticism and add more information where I was wrong or lacked.

This is my two cents worth…

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Bed-sharing with Young Infants: Is It Safe After All?

I can’t not snuggle with my boobaa

The Science of Mom

Does bed-sharing with infants increase their risk of SIDS, even without known risk factors such as alcohol use, smoking, and co-sleeping on a couch or chair? A recent study makes what is probably the best attempt to date to answer this question. The study, led by U.K. researcher Peter Blair, was published last week in the journal PLOS ONE and is freely available to the public (yay!).1

mother and baby How you bed share can make a big difference to safety. Co-sleeping on couches, alcohol use, and smoking are all very risky. The mom in the photo could keep her baby safer by removing the swaddle and ensuring that her baby sleeps on his back.

Many studies have found that co-sleeping is associated with an increased risk of SIDS, but most of this risk doesn’t come from co-sleeping per se, but rather doing so in particularly hazardous conditions, such as…

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The Whole Truth About Infant Cereals: 7 Science-Based Tips

The Science of Mom

I recently received an email from a reader with a question about baby cereals:

“My wife and I are expecting a baby this October. We are planning to breastfeed but have lots of questions about introducing solid foods, particularly cereals. Do we have to feed the baby commercial baby cereals? I am concerned about all the extra crap that is put into commercial food, including unnecessary sugars and possible GMOs. Is there another product or whole food option that we could use to introduce grains to our baby instead of a commercial cereal product?”

~Brenda and Leah in San Diego, CA

Baby cereals have made a big swing in popularity over the last couple of generations. It wasn’t long ago that they were considered an essential first food, given to baby within the first months or even weeks of life. These days, in some circles, they’ve become a marker of…

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Can Fetal Movements Predict a Baby’s Sex or Temperament?

The Science of Mom

I’m now 31 weeks pregnant. The weeks are flying by, and for the most part, I’m relishing all the physical changes in my body and the preparations for this baby. We waited a long time for this pregnancy, and it will probably be my last. I curl around my belly at night and think about the baby growing inside me. I wonder about the person that he or she will become and how our little family will adapt to welcome a second child. (We’ve chosen not to learn the sex of this baby until its birth.)

When I was pregnant with Cee and about to become a mom for the first time, I thought a lot about what kind of mother I would be and how this big life transition might alter my identity, my career path, my marriage, and my daily life. The baby-to-be was kind of a vague…

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Silently I Wait

I wake up every morning 
Thank Him for another day
I look at the mirror
And shamefully stare at the tear stains on my face

I wash the salt marks off
And paint a new face on
My smile has become my armor
I hide away from the world
Cry silently behind the armor

I can no longer fight
I pray my opponents do not see this
That the armor I put on every morning
Is strong enough to scare them off
And I could be left alone to cry silently

Silently I cry
Silently I suffer
I thank Him for everyone’s blessings
Celebrate alone with them
And silently I wait for my turn

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The Great Abortion

I wonder what your answer would be if I asked was it all worth it losing me again. Are you happy now, that you lost the one girl that loved you and your flaws, and a chance to be the daddy you wish to be to your first born child. Now I’m sitting here. Telling your kid you dead, this ain’t no lie. Since you broke my heart, you died along with it…

Never did I find a man, worthy enough to father your kid, or mend my broken heart. I fear if my heart is ever mended. Memories of the love we once had would come alive again. Never will I love another the way I love you. Hey I forget to mention, I did end up giving him the name you wanted. Just couldn’t give him your surname… 

He’s a spitting image of you, with your name, your surname would have been a bit too much for me to handle. Haha, he does that thing with he’s nose, the thing you do when you overwhelmed with excitement. And lies in my arms all day when he’s hurt. He is the kid you’d be proud to call your first born. 

I put my life on hold. 18 years old, fresh outter high school and filled with excitement to start university…And now my peers, drive passed me every morning, while I wait at the bus stop and head to work.

Remember how you’d encourage me to study hard so our kid don’t grow up suffering? I mean we went to the best private schools money could offer. Had the latest gadgets and bragged all year long how they were custom made. I work my hands numb. Until blisters become raw on my feet. So that our baby could get the best money can buy. But it is never enough…

Since he to inherited your disease. Yes, he’s diabetic too. He’s hospital visits have become a monthly routine. Which disrupts my working, which decreases the cashflow. I almost lost my job early october, because he was admitted for a longer period this time. I cried and cried my eyes out, till they were bloodshot red. But he’s back up again. Healthier than most kids. He’s life is a blessing. And I’m blessed to see him live it.

Oh but the sad thing is… I won’t get to see it all… Because not only did you plant this seed of life in me… You embedded death’s companion in me too… I was lucky to be able to protect your kid. It is what you would have wanted… 

I was listening to the news the other day. And I guess this is why I’m writing you this letter. I hear you have made a name for yourself. Rich and successful. But humble as I met you. I don’t know why you never got married. You were a casanova in our days. Guess I expected you to settle down and have babies, even though you were the unfaithful type. 

I never wished you bad luck. And I hope it is not my fault in anyway you go home to an empty house, filled with the best artifacts money can buy. But I don’t understand why you keep the door to one room closed. Is that meant to be our babies room?

Here’s the ending to this long story. I never intended to ever tell my kid you were alive and who you were. We managed to live 13 years without you and your money. All my baby has is me… 

But I’m afraid that this is my last night alive. So here’s your son, and all the things I tried to build for him. I told him who you are. But not the man who ruined things for me and him. But a father who’s longing to meet he’s creation. 

Just do me this one favour…. Don’t disappoint him like you have me. Because it is not the virus, AIDS, that you gave me that killed me… Twas all the lies and disappointment I had to live with in this broken heart of mine. You killed me in a way no one thought could be possible. I just merely grew tired of being strong. But I know you will be a good father to your Son ♡. PS I’m sorry he’s in a paper bag…

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